The Queen and her Fool
by BObsessedryis
Summary: An alternative history where Queen Victoria and Lord Melbourne explore romantic love.


**I do not own any of these characters, nor do I think this historically accurate. Hence "fan" and "fiction." ;) R &R is always welcome!**

xoxoxo

Everything about her intoxicated him. Perhaps that is why he craved the drink in the evenings when he was deprived of her presence, her scent, her smile. Her eyes had a tendency to twinkle when he entered a room, and his lips always turned into a shallow, secret grin between the two of them.

But now he stood alone amongst his parliament of rooks as she returned to Emma's carriage to go back to her palace.

Lord Melbourne felt such a fool. How could he let Victoria go so easily?

She had confessed her love, claimed her heart belonged to him, and he had denied her. He had said it was for her own good, the good of her throne and their country. But as she had left in her distress and rejection, the pangs in his heart told him it was fear also that led him to refuse her.

He was afraid to love again. He was afraid that one so beautiful and young would soon long for the adventures only a younger partner could enjoy. He worried that his age would be a detriment to their marriage. What now may seem insignificant could quickly take a turn for the worst. He would not be a dreg on the queen or her reign.

When he could not bare the chill in the air any longer, he began his walk back to his lonely home where only his garden and his servants now kept him company.

xoxoxo

She rushed back to the carriage, remembering yet another time when he spurned her advances. She had had too much drink at her coronation ball. Alone, in the hallway, she demanded yet another dance with Lord M. He refused her then, why did she think he would accept her now?

Victoria waited until back in her coach for the tears to roll down her cheeks. She wanted to be at home, in bed with Dash, weeping into her pillow. Unfortunately, she had a dinner to attend that very evening with some of the lords.

As they bumped along the cobblestone roads leading back to London, she found herself imagining a different conversation, a different outcome, one in which her Lord M embraced her and accepted her heart willingly.

As they arrived, she knew there would be questions from her mother, the puppeteer Sir John, as well as her uncle. And once again, they would begin talking about potential mates when all she wanted was to be alone.

But a queen is never really alone.

xoxoxo

The months passed slowly with much bickering and scheming around the palace. Various cousins had been proposed as prospects, including her German cousin Albert who she had yet to meet. Victoria hated being thrown around like a prize. She wanted to marry for love. She wanted a husband who would respect her crown and throne, but also respect her as a woman and wife.

Lord Melbourne answered her letters, occasionally with flowers, and requests for council, but had continuously managed to avoid being alone with her. His eyes no longer seemed to dance in her presence and he often looked off in the distance rather than upon her as he once did.

She remembered his gaze. At meetings, dinners and dances, whenever she found him, he focused on her with such intensity it made her feel like the only person in the room. She remembered his touch. He still knelt down, kissing her hand upon greeting ever the image of gentlemanly propriety, but his touch lingered less. Nor did he seek to assure her by standing so close, taking her hands in his and speaking to her as a friend and confidant, not a Prime Minister to his queen. And how long had it been since they last shared a dance? She longed for his firm hand on the small of her back, his strong hand holding hers delicately with such assurance and ease. She missed how they had twirled together so naturally, two people perfectly insync.

But now she was being courted by possible suitors closer in age and royal stature, though infinitely further from her heart.

Despite her wishes, her mother and uncle had invited Prince Albert and his brother to the palace. They would be arriving in the evening. Victoria was still angry, but wanted to make the best of it. Lord Melbourne would be there as well, after all. That was something to look forward to, despite the disconnection she now felt.

xoxoxo

The butler finished putting on Lord Melbourne's jacket and fixing his neck tie.

"Shall I pack a night bag for you, sir?" His butler asked, raising an eyebrow slightly.

Lord Melbourne's eyes flickered to his man before back on his reflection in the mirror. "The queen has not requested, but perhaps I will stay in London a few days. Thank you."

His butler turned away, a small grin on his face. The small household had been in gossip since the queen's "secret" visit.

Lord Melbourne took one last look in the mirror, fixing his coughs to stand straight and stately, shoulders back and chest puffed up. Then he remembered he wasn't seeing his friend, he was seeing the queen as she was courted by her German cousin. He quickly deflated, shoulders slouching as he walked out.

Usually, he would take a carriage to such an affair, but his heart was racing and a sense of urgency and doubt flooded him. He channeled his energy into the ride. His steed didn't seem to mind either, the poor gelding didn't get much riding what with Lord Melbourne's sullen behavior of late.

When the palace came into view, he slowed and trotted through the grand entryway. A servant came up and took hold of his horse as he dismounted. He had undone most of the tidying of his butler, but he fixed himself as he entered, taking a deep breath and readying himself for the evening.

xoxoxo

Victoria glared at Uncle Leopold before returning to chatting with her companions, hands on her lap, fidgeting. She hated waiting.

Then he walked in.

She stood immediately in response to his presence, still drawn to him. "Lord M, you made it."

"Sorry for the delay, ma'am." He said, rushing over to take his traditional deep bow as he pulled her hand to his lips. He lingered a moment longer on bended knee as he looked up at her. "I hope I did not miss any of the festivities." He smiled and stood, dropping her hand slowly.

Uncle Leopold and her mother exchanged looks of displeasure.

"Not at all, we have been waiting for my cousins mostly. But why should we wait? Come, let us start the party." Her eyes sparkled as she smiled at him.

He gestured towards the piano. "It has been so long... since I have heard you play, ma'am."

Victoria's smile faded slightly. There was such deep sorrow in her Lord M's eyes. She did not like it. "If it pleases Lord M, then perhaps I shall."

Lord Melbourne found a chair off to the side, away from the glares of her mother, and closer to his friends, the wives of his Whig colleagues. A servant offered him a brandy, which he happily took, although as soon as he was about to drink, she began to play and entranced him. Her hands moved magically over the keys, and the melody they produced enthralled him. He could feel his heart begin to race anew as he focused on her.

She glanced up at him for the briefest moment before looking back at the music. Feeling his eyes upon her, there was a depth and intensity to her playing that wasn't there before. She got into the crescendo in the song when she heard a page flutter. Jolted from her trance, she looked up to see a handsome young man with messy curled hair and a mustache. For a moment, Victoria was lost in his features. His sharp jaw and cheek bones, his somber though piercing blue eyes.

Her gaze did not go unnoticed by Lord Melbourne.

"Albert." She said surprised.

"Please, don't let me disturb you." Her cousin responded with his light Germanic accent.

Lord Melbourne watched the exchange, his thin lipped expression of displeasure clear. Why had he been so hopeful? He could not understand why he chose to come at all. This was going to be a painful evening.

Victoria finished her piece to the applause of the room. "Isn't she wonderful?" Uncle Leopold said, goaded his nephew into flattery.

"I believe she now plays with fewer mistakes." Prince Albert responded, his voice just above a raspy whisper. He clearly begrudged this part of courtship, or perhaps disliked the queen herself.

Lord Melbourne stood immediately as the queen did to speak, "I am growing tired. I will see you all tomorrow evening. Lord M and I have many tasks of government during the day."

xoxoxo

Lord Melbourne sat alone in his London home, a glass of scotch in hand. "Sir, the queen requests an audience with you before supper."

He sighed. "How much before?" He looked into his glass as he swirled.

"She had hoped in the next hour, my lord."

"I see." Lord Melbourne downed his drink, and set it on the table beside.

xoxoxo

"Lord M, thank you for coming." The queen sat at her working desk, but stood to face him for their usual greeting.

"Always a pleasure, ma'am." Lord Melbourne said, kissing her hand, his lips lingering a moment longer than usual before he checked himself. Perhaps he should not have finished his drink. His eyes were red and bloodshot when he looked at Victoria.

"Lord M, are you alright? You do not look fully well." Her tone was not judgmental, but riddled with concern. She could smell the scotch ever so slightly but only because of his close proximity to her.

"I... ma'am. Well enough." His tone was not very reassuring. He didn't care to be. But how could he tell her that he already hated Prince Albert, that seeing her look at him so fondly the moment they met sickened him? He could not say that he stayed up most of the night, imagining how he could undo his folly at Brocket Hall. There was nothing to do but accept his fate. He was an aging man and she a young and beautiful queen.

"Perhaps, Lord M, you would like to take tea in the garden?" Victoria continued to look worried, but smiled kindly at him, which he returned.

"That would be lovely, ma'am."

xoxoxo

"So, my queen, what need have you of me today with such a fill palace?" Lord Melbourne appreciated the sun and warmth. He couldn't remember the last time he was outside. It was also the closest thing to being alone with Victoria since that fateful day.

"To talk of marriage, Lord M." She glanced at him before sipping her tea. She remembered his comments the last time they danced, where he said Lester would not remarry, whatever his inclinations.

"Marriage, ma'am?" He looked at her quizzically, the pain in his expression evident. He could not refuse her again. "I am hardly an expert in these matters."

"Expert or not, Lord M, yours is the counsel I seek." She looked at him, then at Dash asleep beside her. "I do not know whom to marry or how to decide. Prince Albert is horrid."

Lord Melbourne's lips tugged into a brief smile. "Oh? Is he truly so bad?"

"Yes. This morning he complained about the food at breakfast. And last night… you heard his comment about my playing and card games!" she huffed with frustration. But Lord M knew better than to be deceived by her tone. He had watched their piano duet. If he had learned anything of love, it was that it grew from surprising places. Persistent irritation was not so far from gentler emotions.

"Perhaps Prince Albert is merely teasing, your majesty. Sometimes men who are not well versed in courtship make this mistake prematurely, similar to boys hitting girls when they know not what to do with their sentimentality." He would have grinned if she did not seem so displeased. Still, he was glad to get the jab at Albert's immaturity.

Victoria sighed, "Perhaps you are right… but I tire of these games. I just want to be with someone who makes me happy." She looked at him nearly beaming, and his breath caught in his throat.

"Happiness is a worthy goal for a queen. But so also is the good of your kingdom and your subjects." He set his tea cup down, and folded his hands in his lap. "Give Prince Albert another change, ma'am. It is a good match, if you allow affection to grow." He wished he could have cut out his own tongue at the phrase. He hoped his torment was not so obvious. Fortunately, his queen was lost in thought.

She glanced over at him as he gave a coy grin and added, "Besides, you've wanted reason enough to host a night of dancing."

Victoria's melodic laugh washed over Lord Melbourne like a salve to heal his aching heart.

"Oh Lord M, you do always know how to cheer me up."

He grinned at her joy, "All I long to do is to make my queen happy."


End file.
